When I first got pregnant, I never fathomed staying home. I never wanted to stay home. It was never in the plan, and plan we did. DH would stay home with me for the first 4 weeks, and I would go back to work after 6 weeks. I even had a babysitter lined up and payment arrangements all made.
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Alas, it was not to be. God must look down on us when we are "planning" and giggle, or shake his head and say, silly humans. Don't you know my plans are WAY better?? I was not able to go back to work. Noah had reflux and colic, and as bad as my post partum depression was, I still knew that a screaming child was not safe in the hands of a stranger for 8 hours a day. Much less, why work to only make enough to pay for the babysitter and gas, right? So stay at home I did.
It was a hard adjustment, learning to do housework and take care of an infant and a husband who now shouldered the entire financial load. At somepoint (I am not sure when) I guess I settled into that roll.
This week has been.....well, HARD on me. DH has been good about listening and being patient. But things have just been stressful. Is hard walking into a work situation and immediatly have to clean up someone elses problems, and be worrying about your lil man with someone else...and whether hubby will get supper...or whether I will have the energy to clean and launder (which I have not) much less time for carding, which, I know is low on the totom poll, but realistically, a person needs time for themselves and for family.
I came to the realization that I DON'T want to work anymore. Not because I am lazy, but because I have not truely had any time with my son in 5 solid days. I miss him. He is learning new things every day and I am not getting to spend time with him. I dunno.
I have a newfound appreciation for those who work fulltime, or even partime and have families and manage to balance them well. I am sure it was something that came with time, but as thankful as I am for the extra dollars this month, I am also thankful that this is a temporary arrangement. I am hoping this will motivate me to be a great housewife and mother, instead of just a good one.
I did get a great RAK this week from a super fab friend of mine, Heather from over at Cafe Mom. I love this card. She sent it with some awesome brads and eyelets! THANKS HEATHER!
That's the sum of my week.....thanks for listening. I know its not my usual. Hopefully I will have something much more fun to say by the end of the weekend. =0)
3 comments:
Aww ... poor ma,a! I love all the pics! SO sweet and so touching! He is the cutest lil man!!!:) SO sweet!
I can't say I am surprised.. I knew that you would feel that way. you and I are so much the same when it comes to family and our feelings. I have total respect for working mothers .. but I know completely in my heart that its not for me!!! Unless it is working form home that is:)!! I can't imagine the stress of knowing or not knowing what is going on with my kids. I enjoy every minute I have with them and am so blessed to be able to do what I do. Chin up. this week is over.. I hope you have a super fun, relaxing, loving weekend!!! I, for one, have missed you SO MUCH!!! LOVE YA!
Cass~ Awh, poor sweetie! But lucky you got that pretty card of Heather's to cheer you up! I totally understand on the working situation. I had planned on working after my son's birth and my DH was going to be a WAHD...then I got fired and we had to make new plans...but honestly, it was the perfect intervention by God to show me what was the best way for my little family! I am so very blessed that make a little petty cash from piano lessons...and then blessed that for 1 or 2 days a week I can get out of the house and speak to adults in the school when I substitute teach. I frankly don't know how working moms do it and thank God that I'm able to stay home.
It's the weekend and hope you will be able to relax and enjoy Noah!
Cass I know exactly how you feel :) Thankfully we are not at the point where I have to go back to work yet but even staying home and balancing housework, babies and chores really is a struggle for me as well. Glad it's temporary cause I might go thru withdrawls from lack of mamma cass cards :)keep your chin up and enjoy the weekend!
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